Doubting The Past
by Lady Croft1
Summary: Lara thinks about her father and his dealings with the Illuminati


*The characters in this story do not belong to me, they belong to Edios interactive. I only like to   
play around with them a bit so dont sue!*  
  
  
  
Lara Croft sat in her fathers study, old books and her fathers field journals covered the desk in front of her in three neatly stacked piles, the biggest pile - the unreviewed journals -sat far to th left, alomost spilling off of the table. The center stack consisted of journals that had no infomation that could help her wich was in the center.  
  
And then there was the smallest stack but still most important to Lara at this point in time, wich held but five journals that could....could contain a clue pertaining to her fathers secret life that until just a few days ago, she had known nothing about.  
  
Yawning for the first time since she had entered the room at seven oclock, she looked up at the grandfather clock on the wall next to her and her eyes widened. Fifteen hours she had been digging through the things in the study, nothing that she hadnt touched or read many times before but until now she hadnt known what exactly she was looking for.   
  
Lara didnt want to quit now, she felt like if she did she might never make heads nor tails of anything. Looking out the window at the moonlit sky, she turned her attention back to the desk and picked up another dusty journal and opened it to the first page.   
  
She had just begun to emmerse herself back into the almost poetic feel of the neatly written words as the closed door of the study opened and in stepped her butler and dear friend, Hillary.  
  
"Hello Lara." She could see him glance down to the book filled desk and another avenue of research hit her.  
  
"Hillary... You knew my father longer than I did." He just nodded. Lara paused for a long moment to gather her thoughts before continuing. "Did you know about his position in the Illuminati?" She kept her voice quiet, but Hillary knew her well and could hear a tinge of something in her voice....pain perhaps.  
  
Hillary wasnt quite sure what she meant."Lara?"  
  
"Daddy was with the Illuminati." She leaned back in the large leather chair and swiveled a bit as Hillary took a step further into the room.  
  
"The Illuminati as in...." There was a long pause. "Who you just went up against to obtain the all seeing eye?"  
  
Lara nodded. "Did you know?"  
  
"I knew he was apart of a secret group." Hillary stepped foward until he was standing infront of the desk. "Lord Croft would take frequent trips to Venice as you know..." She nodded. "One day he returned, angry at something. I let him settle in before I found him in here, intently discussing a matter over the phone. I asked him if there was anything wrong, thats when he asked me to sit down. Thats when he told me that he was apart of a secret orginazation, he wouldnt reveal the name to me though. Just asked that I never mention it to anyone." There was a long pause as Lara waited for him to continue. "Three months later he never returned home."  
  
Lara sighed, not expecting his last remark. "Its hard when for your whole life you strive to please someone in an indirect manner only to find twenty years later that you never really knew them at all. My father...." Lara shook her head. "Was apart of the most secretive orginazation on the planet. My mother...." She just sighed, the pain apperent on her face. "What next? Will I find out that he had another life in Venice? Another family?"   
  
Hillary shook his head. "Your father wasnt like that Lara."   
  
She looked up at him. "I know....Its just so..." She slumped, leaning back on the desk. "I always wanted closure...not wanting him to be just lost in the field." She shook her head. "But I never imagined that I'd find out that it was murder."   
  
"Murder?" He was very suprised.  
  
She nodded sadly. "Powell." She reached into the drawer of the desk and pulled out an object holding it up. Her fathers pocket watch.  
  
"He had this... Took it from him after he killed him in Novaya Zemlya."Just thinking about Manfred Powell's face upset her all over again. "That bastard." Lara began to twirl the watch like her father used to years ago which brought a brief smile to her lips. Still in the memory, she opened up the watch and looked at the yellowed picture of her mother. "Mum."   
  
"I wonder if she knew... What would she say right now?"   
  
"I think she would tell you to be strong...not to belittle the image that you have of him."   
  
"How could I not question things, standing here now? Knowing what I know?"   
  
"Im not saying that you dont question it...Im saying that I think you should trust that whatever decisions your father made was for a good reason...to keep you safe."  
  
That made Lara smile. "Thats exactly what he said." It was more of a thought that wasnt meant to be said.  
  
Hillary looked a bit miffed. "Lara?"  
  
She sighed and sat back into her fathers chair, motioning for Hillary to sit also. Lara thought about her encounter with her father a few days ago, took a deep breath and begun.  
  
"At the time of alignment....after I got possestion of the triangles power, well.... I used it."  
  
Hillary just raised an eyebrow, she had told him this story after she had returned, but had said nothing about using the power.   
  
"It was impossible for me to pass up the chance Hilly. Anyways....I went back to before he was killed. Well, I didnt go back exactly, he explained it to me as a passing of his own past and my present. He was just how I remembered him Hilly...sitting in his expedition tent like he had so many nights on his travels. Right down to the...crystal inkwell to the left side of his desk." Her voice quivered as she continued. "I asked him why he never told me, he said that he only told me what would keep me safe. You have no idea how much I wanted to use the power of the triangle so that he could return, so that I could have more time with him. Daddy made me realize that it was wrong to change even the smallest incriment in time." Lara rested her face in her hands. "So I destroyed it. It was the bullet that assured I would never be able to see him again."  
  
"Lord Croft was a wise man as you well know Lara. You did the right thing."  
  
"I know I did Hilly...But its hard not to have doubts."  
  
He nodded. "Of course it is Lara. But you will doubt yourself throughout your whole life."  
  
Lara nodded. Yes....she would always have doubts. She just hoped that they wouldnt continue to lead back to her father.  
  
*~* Fin *~*  
  
Please review! I loooove feedback, flames or praise ;-)  
  



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